McDowell Technical Community College

Celebrate Recovery

THIS IS WHY LIFE IS WORTH LIVING

By Jessica Williams

Mitchell County

Living in the drug life is so hard. I know what it’s like to feel so alone, scared, afraid, useless, helpless, angry and unwanted. Just wanting to run and hide from all you’re feeling and thinking, Oh if I smoke just a little more or snort a little more it will all go away, but it just stays. All that you are trying to run from just becomes your demon. At first you can just pretend the demon isn’t there, but then he starts to slowly show his face. It doesn’t bother you too much at first. You try to blow him off but then the drug (demon) starts to take over. You feel like there’s no way out, so you keep doing more and more drugs until this demon has taken everything you have, your kids, your family, your car, your happiness, your joy, your self-respect and your hope. After your demons have this it’s time for the demons to continue to take even more until you have turned into someone you swore you would never become. You now feel like a demon yourself, so now that you are no longer a part of your family you have a new family. This new family takes from those who really love you and you hurt them, yet, you believe they are the ones that hurt you and don’t care for you anymore. So, you just start to become angrier, have more self-pity, hatred toward everyone. Then you become your own demon, because now your demon is fighting with you and all your other demons. Everywhere you go you never feel safe, you’re always thinking that there is someone out to get you and now the only thing you want is to be loved. You think it’s too late or you ask yourself, “Do I even know how to love and if I try to fix things will it even matter?” Everywhere I go everyone is always looking down on me and you feel LOST like there’s no way out, like you can never be a better person, like you can never be that loving, caring mom you once were, the daughter that once would do anything for her family, the daughter that loved her family. The one who loved her church family and loved being around them. So, you sit and cry and you keep being partaking with your new demon family only to make things worse. Now you’re at the point where living doesn’t matter.” So, what if I die, I’ll be better off and so will my family.” Look at what all I have done to them. I have lied, stole, cussed and cheated them in so many ways. Death then starts to look like your only way out. You and your demon family are friends again. You go as hard as you can for days, praying to God that He will take you. “But wait; what did I just say?” PRAYING TO GOD? Not to my demon. If these demons really had full control of me then why was I praying to God? He’s all forgiven, all loving, all caring and I’m his child, forgiven by the blood of Jesus Christ! Why would he answer my prayer to die? He said look at these demons, I can make them go away. Just have faith and trust in me not those demons. The road ahead of you will not be easy, but just know I will never leave you. I will be right beside you and yes I have already walked in front of you. Just keep all your trust and faith in me Jessica and I promise you that we will beat this thing together. So here I am clean two years, six months and no it’s not been easy at all, but I am the happiest I have been in seventeen years. All my demons are gone, and I no longer share my life with them! My God Is Good All The Time and All The Time My God is Good. I have my life, my kids, and family back and there’s more love now than ever before. So never give up or give in because remember your heavenly father, He’s your King and you are his child.   “ Feeding Faith & Starving Fear”.

Jessica B. Williams

 

You’re praying to the one who

Created you in his image, who has

Great plans for your life and most

Of all the one who died for you.

Yes You!

You are loved, Romans 5:8

You are chosen, I Peter 2:9

You redeemed, Ephesians 1:7

You are healed, I Peter 2:24

You have a purpose and amazing destiny, Jeremiah 29:11

And if you don’t know my God and you’re not saved well

YOU CAN BE SAVED, Roman 10:9

 

Jessica’s email: never2scarred@gmail.com