McDowell Technical Community College

Life Lessons


By Doug Harrell

What is Love

I don’t know who will be reading this, but if you are in a relationship, or wanting to be in a lasting relationship, you might want to read the book in the Bible “Song of Solomon”.

 “My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. For, lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone; The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the singing of birds is come, and the voice of the turtle is heard in our land; The fig tree putteth forth her green figs, and the vines with the tender grape give a good smell. Arise, my love, my fair one, and come away. O my dove, that art in the clefts of the rock, in the secret places of the stairs, let me see thy countenance, let me hear thy voice; for sweet is thy voice, and thy countenance is comely.”
Song of Solomon 2:10-14 KJV

Valentines Day is a day that we set aside to show love and affection to our girlfriend, boyfriend, friend or our mate.  I happen to think that it is important to do this every day rather than just one day a year.  In May this year, my lovely wife Barbara and I, if we live until then, will celebrate 54 years of marriage and I will be quick to tell you that I would do it over again in a minute.  Saying that we had never had arguments or quarrels would be a big misnomer to say the least, but I can truly say that neither of us has ever considered divorce at all, at least I can attest to myself and think that is true of Barbara as well.

Very early on in our marriage we began reading books on marriage and marriage relationships and vowed to each other that we would always work on making the marriage as fun and fruitful as possible.  I want to just list a few things that are critical to making a relationship last with an abundance of love and fun.

Talking to sweethearts, do you really know the person you are thinking about marrying?  Have you spent enough time dating to be over the infatuation period, do you know their spiritual background and beliefs, are you on the same page on social issues?  DO YOU BOTH HAVE A SOLID RELATIOSHIP WITH THE LORD?  This is the basis of all relationships if you want a relationship that will last through the ages!  Many people today laugh and scoff at the idea of a Biblical Marriage, but don’t be so glib.  God has laid out the foundation for love and marriage and it does not have to be dull, it is just the opposite!  Men, don’t be afraid to show your emotions, tell your wife every day that you love her and desire her, brag on her mind and her body.  Here again, read and reread Song of Solomon and see how lovers speak to each other.  A woman wants to feel loved and wanted intellectually and sexually, there is absolutely nothing unbiblical about any of that.  Romance you wife each and every day of your life and I promise it will make marriage much more fun.  You ladies, your husband wants your respect probably more than anything else you can give him.  We men want to be seen as the knight on the white horse taking care of our woman.  Let him know how much you respect him and give him room to be the leader in the family.  I promise if you will lift him up as your leader and provider, in most cases he will become the person you would like him to be.  Let him know that he is your lover, friend and companion, the one you want to be with, the one you admire most.  Enjoy loving each other in all areas of your lives and it can be so rewarding.  Marriage and relationships, family, children, grandchildren and great grandchildren, these are the things that make life pleasant.  When the Lord decides to take us home, the only thing that we really leave in this old world is the impact and legacy we leave with our friends and families, the difference we have made on their lives.  Begin with a loving relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and spread Christian love to all those you come in contact with.  If you are married, read and reread Song of Solomon.  Happy Valentine’s Day to all.