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Love for a Lifetime

By Dean Honeycutt

Mitchell County


As I have thought about how to have a successful marriage, I have come up with a reasonable solution. Husbands do everything your wife tells you to do. As one man was asked, “who is in charge in your home?” The man replied, “that is easy I wear the pants in my family, but my wife tells me what to do.” We joke about this all the time and it is funny. Most of the time when you ask a man about something, he will say you will have to ask my wife. A lot of times in my family Pam knows what is going on with our children and the agenda for the week. And most of the time our children will convey information to Pam before they tell me anything. I do not know how many times I have heard “dad I told you, you just forgot.” And to be honest that is true. It goes in one ear and out the other. Men, we have been accused of selective hearing, and at times I know this to be true. Pam is a much more detail person than I am.

We have been married 28 years and have faced a lot of challenges. We have faced every adversity with God. In 28 years, there has never been a time that God has not been in the center of our relationship and problems. It is God that has brought us through financial strain, miscarriage, death, dealing with alcohol abuse, health problems, and caring for our aging parents. The Lord is our strength and the One we lean on and trust. One thing I would tell every couple is to make prayer a priority in your relationship. Prayer places God at the center and the source of help in every situation.

The Bible says “25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;” Ephesians 5:25.  Christ sacrificed His life for the church because He loved the church. So, my love for my wife is expressed in sacrifice. As the extreme expression of this love, I would die for my wife, for her to live. Jesus died so we could live. I benefited eternally from the death of Jesus. In comparison, my wife will benefit from my giving myself to my wife. This is an act of selfless living or living for the sole purpose of benefitting someone else.  Paul expressed this type of selfless living in Romans. Romans 12:1 “I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”

Wow, a living sacrifice that places the needs and concerns of my wife and family above my own. This is difficult at times; our wives need this type of love. A love that is deeper and stronger, a love that Paul described as “a great mystery.” At times it is difficult to sacrifice our time, hobbies, desires, goals to fulfill the needs of our wife. A Father giving his daughter away in marriage handed a note to his new son in law that reads “fragile handle with care.”

I can remember my dad when problems came along, he would say “I have got broad shoulders I can handle it”; well instead of trying to handle it, he should have been giving it away. What I mean by this is instead of holding onto our sin and problems we need to crucify our flesh for the benefit of the family. This is part of the problem today in marriages and families. Men are selfish and we are not willing to sacrifice our life for the life of our wife and family.

Men, when we love our wife the way the Bible says we will see our wives living in submission to us and our children respecting us. The Christian family is a model of the Christian Church. Jesus is the head of the church, as the husband is the head of his family. I have a lot of work to do and by God’s grace, I will do it, and be the husband and Father God has called me to be.

Happy Valentine’s Day

Live life with “No Regrets”


Pastor Dean Honeycutt shepherds Snow Hill Baptist Church in Bakersville, NC. He may be reached at 828-385-0213,, or visit their website at